Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Confidently Overcoming Discouragement When You Feel the Odds are Stacked Against You

Are you struggling with discouragement because of a job loss, a sickness, pending foreclosure or perhaps you are gong through a bankruptcy to stay off a foreclosure on your home. Then again you and your family may have already loss your home and currently reside in a homeless transitional facility. If you do not find yourself in one of the above scenarios then maybe you are struggling with discouragement because your retirement investment account is losing a ton of money due to mismanagement or the failing economy. There is a litany of reasons why you could possibly be struggling with discouragement. However, the key word here is “struggling” because you refuse to submit to the state of being deprived of courage, hope, loss of confidence, or a dishearten spirit.

The first thing you can do to win this struggle is perform a self-assessment to determine whether you are feeling any of the following emotions: disappointment, despair, dismay, downheartedness, despondency, depression, hopelessness, loss of confidence, low spirits, melancholy, sadness, or the blues. All these feelings originated in your thoughts based on your current situation. You made a conscious choice based on what you saw, heard, and or touched to respond to your external condition with negative emotions. Subsequently, you are disappointed which could lead to discouragement and you could possibly become despondent, and ultimately depressed. Once you are in the state of depression you are paralyzed to the point where you are not able to respond or your response is ineffective; thus your current situation does not change for the better. One of the last things you want to do when you find yourself in an adverse situation is to do nothing.

Evaluate yourself and determine whether you are struggling with discouragement because of your current situation. The following are four areas you need to examine while you are in this situation. Ensure you do not allow yourself to fall prey to them. Also listed are some things you can do to overcome discouragement:

Fatigue – While you are going through your current situation do your best to get some sleep so you will be well rested. Staying up at night worrying about what possibly will happen is not going to help your dilemma. You can think much more clearly with a good nights sleep. If you find that you cannot sleep a good workout may help you to fall asleep. I have found that prayer works miracles for me.

Frustration – Do not allow yourself to believe the situation is hopeless and get frustrated. I have found sometimes we have to change our thought pattern. In some cases our mind is so sat on things happening a certain way and we are not open to any other alternatives. Always develop other plans “B” and “C”. Just in case plan “A” does not work out.

Failure – Do not allow negative thoughts to inundate your mind which is usually the worse case scenario. Do not allow past failures to dictate your current situation. The past is history and if you can change it for the better do so but if not stop dwelling on something you cannot change. Do not entertain negative thoughts because this can lead to a negative attitude which could possible result in making poor decisions. In spite of your current situation you have to learn to encourage yourself.

Fear – Do not be afraid to talk to your creditors or the individual so the two of you can workout a plan that is beneficial for both parties.

If you notice throughout this article I constantly used the terminology “current situation.” I did this intentionally because the situation you find yourself in at this time is temporary. Although it is current, it is only temporary. Give it some time and it will end so do not allow the thoughts of you will never get out of this dilemma inundate your mind. The truth of the matter is “it is all temporary” and your object is to just get through it.

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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Self-Confidence and the Choice to Engage in Positive Conversations

You can identify a self-confident person by their body language and conversation. These people more than likely are positive people. They have positive thoughts and have positive things to say. The next time you have a conversation with some one, (it can be a total stranger) listen to what they say and how they say it. If, you talk to them long enough you will be able to determine their self-confidence level by their conversation and body language. If you talk with someone and all their conversation is about someone else’s misfortune, or gossiping, usually there is something going on with that person. In some cases, they are hurting (emotionally) and hurting people tend to hurt others. It makes them feel better about themselves to talk about what they heard about someone else’s affairs. Rather than talking about themselves and how they are making their positive “mark” on society, they would prefer to continue spreading second-hand information (gossip). These are the type of people you want to get far away from with a quickness. Pray for them (under your breath), and keep it moving.

What is a conversation? According to Wikipedia the free encyclopedia, it defines conversation as “communication between multiple people. It is a social skill that is not difficult for most individual. Conversations are ideal form of communication in some respects, since they allow people with different views on a topic to learn from each other.” What I interpret the definition to mean is that conversation is a dialogue between two or more people and they are exchanging information. If you are engaged in an exchange of information, with someone and it digresses down a negative path you have the ability to immediately stop the exchange.

If you stop a negative conversation particular when it is about someone who is not around to defend themselves then that is an indicator that you are a self-confident person. You can chose not to feed into the other person’s emotional pain by destroying someone’s reputation with malicious gossip. Dale Carnegie said it best when he stated, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic but creatures of emotions.” Your goal should be to bring them up to your level by not continuing the conversation and telling them you do not participate in idle gossip. It makes me think of an old adage that states, “Garbage in garbage out” if you fill your mind with garbage (negative conversation) you will find yourself making negative statements.

If you are a person who generally have positive conversations and usually do not speak negative about others, then please do not allow the influence of others take you out of your character. This may mean immediately changing the conversation at the first sign of it going in a negative direction. You can stop the person and let them know you do not want to talk about that person since they are not there to defend them self. Another option is to simply walk away from the person and the conversation.

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